A Load of Junk
by WhiteStar the Undecided
Summary: Me and Wolf Mystic have some fun screwing around with Sarge, Fillmore, Doc, Sheriff, and what the? Groundskeeper Willie! What the! Some Language from Wolf. Maybe some from me later on if Sarge makes me mad.


WhiteStar and Wolf Mystic were just sitting under some trees in Radiator Springs when WhiteStar spoke up, "I love Sarge so much!!" Wolf Mystic just laughed and brushed her hair out of her face before pointing over at Sarge who just happened to be passing by.

WhiteStar smiled then ran over to Sarge and hugged him the best she could. Sarge had overheard what she had said a moment ago and asked, "Why me?"

WhiteStar giggled before letting go of him, "Cause you're the cutest, duh!"

Wolf Mystic laughed and shook her head, "Hee hee. Don't piss him off too much. We don't want him to accidentally overheat...or explode. Heh heh." White star giggled again, "That would be both funny and bad...mostly bad...or maybe funny...no that would be bad."

Wolf Mystic just about bust out laughing when WhiteStar climbed onto Sarge's hood, then crawled up to the very top, "I'm queen of the world!"

Sarge growled and looked up at her the best he could, "Get. Off. Me." Wolf Mystic called from her spot beneath the tree, "Aw, c'mon, you old goat. Lighten up."

Sarge was about to reply when something stopped him, "...What's a goat?"

The extremely giggly and hyper WhiteStar was happy to answer his question, "It's a cute little critter with a bad attitude. Like you! Only you're not fuzzy, you're shiny!"

Sarge rolled his eyes and glared, "Well, I'm just _flattered._" WhiteStar laughed before gently climbing down from her spot, "But seriously, you are my favorite." WhiteStar leaned over and kissed the side of his hood.

The old Army Jeep blushed, but failed to show any other expression. "Meh. I have to go restock some supplies."

The two girls grinned at each other before laughing evilly, "I don't think so." WhiteStar clipped a parking boot on him. "Ha!" Wolf Mystic fell over laughing at Sarge.

The war veterans jaw dropped and his eyes widened before narrowing in anger, "Dagnabbit!! I told Sheriff to lock these gol-durned things up!" Wolf Mystic and WhiteStar just giggled before pointing over at Sheriff who was surrounded by donuts, "It wasn't hard to get the key."

"You're fat enough, Sheriff! Don't let that old bribe fool you!"

WhiteStar fell over and rolled on the ground laughing her but off, "You called him fat!" The silly teen kept laughing.

Sarge turned and glared at her, "Well, it's true! Why do you think he backfires every time he drives too fast, he eats too many doughnuts, for Ford's sake!"

Wolf Mystic snickered "You better hope he doesn't hear you."

WhiteStar had turned her attention to Sheriff and walked over to him before giggling and handing Sheriff another donut, "My obedient pet."

The veteran followed and snapped at Sheriff, "Snap out of it, soldier!" Sarge whacked Sheriff across his hood.

Sheriff winced and dropped his donut, "HEY!! You made me drop my donut..." Sheriff looked at it sadly and sniffled.

Sarge gave Sheriff a look that clearly said, 'WTF?!' While WhiteStar just fell over giggling.

Wolf Mystic shook her head in pity, "I _KNEW _I shouldn't have let him watch Teletubbies." Sheriff stared to tear up the pointed at Sarge accusingly, "He made me drop my donut!"

Wolf Mystic smacked him upside the hood, "Get it together, man! Don't make me get the TOFU out here!" Sheriff screamed then hid behind WhiteStar. Which was just plain pathetic.

All of a sudden, Wolf Mystic's pet dragon, Cosmos, shows up. "Sheriff's afraid of health food!" Cosmos then imitates Nelson off 'the Simpsons' "HA, ha!"

Wolf Mystic grabbed him by the horns, "Cosmos, that's enough! Don't make mommy take away your STREISAND collection!"

Cosmos screamed, "Wolf! You leave Barbara out of this!" Then he flew away.

Wolf blinked,"...Sorry."

Sarge stared at her, "...You're more insane than her!"

WhiteStar stared at the Dragon as it flew away, "BYE DRAGON THINGY WHO I DONT KNOW!!" WhiteStar shrugged before randomly hugging Sarge and kissing him again.

The Army Jeep screamed, "LEAVE ME ALONE! AAAAAAAAH!!" And drove, or hopped away at like 1 mile per hour. WhiteStar fell over laughing; "NOW THAT'S JUST SAD!!! Some war veteran you are, YOU BIG BABY!!"

Sarge stopped dead in his tracks, "..." The he turned around holding a bazooka, "WHAT. Did. You. Say. PUNK?!" WhiteStar stared at him in fear then screamed bloody murder before hiding behind Doc who randomly appeared out of no where.

Sarge growled still holding the bazooka, "Say you're sorry, you little punk, or I'll smack you upside the head with this unloaded bazooka." Wolf Mystic stared at him, "Jeez, Sarge, you don't have to over-react like you're a Pokemon character or something."

WhiteStar peeked out from behind Doc, "Okay we really need to stick to the whole Cars thing. We've had a dragon already and a mentioning of those dang teletubbies of doom. And now pokemon. Jesus."

Wolf Mystic looked down at the ground and slumped her shoulders, "Yes, sir." WhiteStar randomly pulled out a cookie from nowhere and held it in the air, "WHO WANTS A COOKIE?!"

"ME, ME, ME, ME, ME!!"

"MUST YOU BE SO LOUD?!" Sarge yelled at Wolf Mystic.

Suddenly WhiteStar had an idea…for once…, "Let's play truth or Dare!" Doc spoke up right then and there, "I dare Sarge to french WhiteStar! I TRIPLE DODGE DARE YOU SARGE!! And if you don't your honor is ruined!!"

WhiteStar's eyes nearly fell out of her head, "EXCUSE ME?!"

As did Sarge's, "WHAT?! No! Make me!"

"Baby." Wolf Mystic muttered.

An evil smile appeared on WhiteStar's face and she couldn't resist teasing him, "What is the big bad Sarge scared to kiss a wittle girl? Aww...WIMP!!!!"

Sarge growled, "Grr! I'll show you wimp!" Sarge slammed down on his accelerator and seconds later his lips connected with WhiteStar's. Wolf Mystic screamed and looked away, "Ay curumba! I'm scarred!!"

WhiteStar's eyes widened as he kissed her. Doc screamed and tried to cover his eyes, "MY EYES!!!"

Wolf Mystic jumped onto Doc's hood, "Shield your EYEEEEES!!"

Sarge slowly and eventually pulled away. WhiteStar stared at him, blushing her head off. And that's when Fillmore decided to show up. He had pulled up just in time to see the kiss and he chuckled, "Right on man. Glad to see you found yourself a girl Sarge."

Sarge huffed and glared, "Aw, take a car wash, hippy! Doc dared me to do it." Wolf Mystic nodded, "Its true, Fillmore. And now I'm mentally scarred from it and I need a hug!"

Fillmore smiled and hugged Wolf Mystic while saying, "Ah, come on man. You know you enjoyed it." WhiteStar looked down sadly at what Sarge said before she ran off crying.

Fillmore watched her go, "Oh now look what you did."

"Aw, great! Star! Hold on a second! I'm sorry, okay! It wasn't as bad as I thought!" Sarge called after her.

Wolf Mystic looked up at Fillmore. Fillmore looked down at her and smiled, "You may not enjoy it but..." The VW Bus gently kissed her cheek.

WhiteStar kept running and didn't answer.

"...EEEEEK!!" Wolf Mystic screamed and hugged the bus. Sarge sighed, "Great. Now she hates me." Wolf Mystic looked at him like he was stupid, "Well, let's go get her."

Sarge grunted, "Don't bother. I know something that might get her back here! HEY! I _REALLY _ENJOYED IT, STAR! HONESTLY! BEST KISS OF MY LIFE!"

Wolf Mystic decided to help him out a little, "AND YOU CAN PLAY WITH HIS ARMY GUNS IF YOU WANT!"

The Jeep glared at her, "Thank you."

WhiteStar reluctantly returned but glared and ignored Sarge, "Hmph!" The girl turned away from him angrily.

Fillmore shook his head but nuzzled Wolf Mystic slightly, who in turn blushed.

"Oh, don't do the pouty thing, please!" Sarge drove up to her, everyone else not far behind, and whispered to her, "C'mon. You know I liked it. I just..." Sarge gestured to everyone behind him.

Doc, Fillmore, and Wolf Mystic waved and offered cheesy smiles.

"I don't want them rubbing it in. Okay? And, don't get me wrong. I like you. Just in smaller doses, okay?" Sarge quickly gave her a peck on the cheek while no one was looking.

WhiteStar blushed slightly at his kiss but calmed and whispered/hissed, "You're lucky you're cute."

Sarge grinned, "Yeah. I know."

Wolf Mystic randomly sang quietly, "_Ain't nothin' but a heartache, ain't nothin' but a mistake. Tell me why, I never wanna here you say, I want it that way."_

"Shut up! That song drives me insane!" Sarge snapped at her.

"..._I like big BUTTS and I cannot lie--!"_

"I'm gonna kill you!"

"Eep" Wolf Mystic squeaked before hiding behind Fillmore. WhiteStar squealed, "I love that song!!"

Fillmore chuckled and pulled Wolf out from behind him and held her close.

"I like it from the 'Jackass' movie. It's hilarious."

"It's the stupidest song I've ever heard!" Sarge replied.

WhiteStar shook her head, "No, THIS is the stupidest song you've ever heard." WhiteStar pulled out a pocket radio and pushed play,

"_Oh I'm a gummy bear _  
_Yes I'm a gummy bear _  
_Oh I'm a yummy jummy funny lucky gummy bear _  
_I'm a jolly bear Cause I'm a gummy bear _  
_Oh I'm a movin, grovin, jammin, singin gummy bear _  
_Oh yeah ba ba da duby duby yum yum ba ba da duby duby yum yum ba ba da duby duby yum yum.__"_

Wolf Mystic covered her ears, "YO! That song sucks! Ooh! I have the BEST song right here!" She pulled out CD player and pressed play,

_"WEELLL, Kyle's mom's a b#$,_

_She's a big fat b#$,_

_She's the meanest b#$ in the whole wide world, (song continues for a bit)"_

WhiteStar leaned against Sarge laughing while Fillmore covered his ears, "Hey man! Put that up!!"

Wolf Mystic did so, "I don't care who ya are, that's funny right there! Oh, here's another good one!" She once again pressed play,

_"Suddenly Seymour, is standing beside you,_

_You don't need no make-up,_

_Don't have to preteeeend!_

_Suddenly Seymour, is here to provide you,_

_Sweet understanding,_

_Seymour's your friend,_

The girl started bawling her eyes out, "That song is just so sweet, man!"

The brunette leaned close to Sarge, "I don't get it..." WhiteStar spoke louder, "I've got a better one!" She too pressed play again,

"And can you feel the love tonight  
It is where we are  
It's enough for this wide-eyed wanderer  
That we got this far  
And can you feel the love tonight  
How it's laid to rest  
It's enough to make kings and vagabonds  
Believe the very best"

WhiteStar sighed, "This song is SO romantic." She smiled dreamily.

"Dude! Little Shop of Horrors?! Don't tell me you never saw it! Ooh! Lion King! ELTON JOHN!" She pressed play,

_"I remember when rock was young,_

_Me and Suzie had so much fun,_

_Holdin' hands and skimmin' stones, (continues)_

Wolf Mystic smiled, "This song is B&TCHEN'!" She started to dance

"What is it with you and cussing? What do you think Sarge? My romantic song or her...whatever that is..." WhiteStar asked him. Fillmore winced at Wolf's music.

"Both. Elton John isn't bad."

"That's not a cuss, and, yes, I can be a potty mouth at times."

WhiteStar shrugged, "I'm used to cussing. " WhiteStar blinked before leaning against Sarge and gently putt her hand on his antenna.

"I like Elton John but its a bit much man." Fillmore said slowly.

Wolf Mystic shrugged, "Yeah, I guess. I like all kinds of music, just not rap." She stuck her tongue out.

"I'm a country girl myself."

"Me too. You like Tim McGraw?"

"LOVE HIM!!!" WhiteStar squealed like an obsessed fan girl, which she is, "I LOVE TIM MCGRAW!! HE IS THE COOLEST GUY EVER!!"

"I KNOW RIGHT?! I LOOOOOVE that one song he sings 'Live Like You Were Dying' and that other song...OOOOOH, WHAT'S THE NAME!! It goes like,

_Talk is cheap, and free advice is worth the price you pay,_

_I had to find out for myself,_

_The hard way,_

_Can't tell me nothin',"_

"OH I LOVE THAT ONE!! Can't remember what its called...Hey ya know that song If Your Readin This? I cry when ever I hear it." WhiteStar teared up slightly. "It makes me think of Sarge..." She cried slightly.

Wolf Mystic shook her head, "Naw, never heard it. Sorry. You know what song makes me cry?! That one by Luther Vandrosse 'Dance With My Father' It KILLS me! It makes me think of bad things happening to...GAH, I'M GONNA CRY!!"

"It's dedicated to the soldiers who died in the war. And every time I listen to it I picture Sarge dead." WhiteStar hugged Sarge and buried her face in his side, crying slightly.

Fillmore gently hugged Wolf Mystic, "Hey man, don't cry."

"Oh, I HATE songs like that, yet I love them!! Oh, speakin' of soldier songs, did you hear that new one called 'Citizen Soldier'? I LOVE IT! I MUST FIND IT SOMEHOW!!"

"Nope." The brunette looked at Sarge. "You've been real quiet. What's the deal?"

Fillmore shook his head and chuckled.

Sarge just shrugged.

WhiteStar smacked him slightly, "Idiot." Wolf Mystic laughed her head off at that.

WhiteStar shook her head, "I don't know what I see in you."

"Now what's dat supposed teh mean?" The Army Jeep pouted.

"Oh god dude, don't pout. IT'S TOO CUTE!!" WhiteStar squealed and hugged him, then kissed the side of his hood.

Wolf Mystic laughed, "I love annoying my fav characters." A little light bulb went on in her head. "Speakin' of which, I think i'll pay a visit to that stud, Groundskeeper Willie."

WhiteStar blinked, "I thought we were keeping to the Cars thing?" She climbed onto Sarge and sat on his hood.

Wolf Mystic stopped sneaking away and slumped her shoulders, "Oh, alright."

"Well sneak on other characters later. Unless you make me a deal. I get to stay here and talk with Sarge constantly and you can go see Willie. Ill just change the story from Cars to Misc. Kay?" She continued to sit on Sarge.

"Okay!" Wolf Mystic ran off. "Ohhhh, Willie!!"

"Ach! You again? What is it with your obsession of me?" Willie yelled.

"Oh, come on. You now you like the attention."

Sarge blinked and stared, "...Oookay, that is weird. So, Star, what's going on with you, recently?"

"Yeah that was kinda weird. And not much. I've been working on a few new Fanfics and oneshots. Not much is new..." She thought of something random, "I'm really hot. " WhiteStar waved a hand in front of her face before taking off her tee-shirt.

"Thank god I always wear a bikini under my shirts." She finished taking off her shirt revealing a black bikini top.

"Yeah, well, it's good being a car then. We get our own air-conditioning."

"You suck you know that? But I still love you." WhiteStar kissed him again. Wolf Mystic Rolled on the floor laughing her freakin ass off!

Sarge rolled his eyes, smiling, "Dodge, help me." WhiteStar giggled, "Just wait till the next chapter dude."


End file.
